(no subject)

[nerdanel_the_wise]

It's quiet as she sits on the bed, her back propped comfortably with multiple pillows. She has a sketch pad in her hands as she draws rapidly.

She had been doing it for hours.

One sketch book had been discard, already full.

It had been centuries since she had last picked up anything to create art with, and now she couldn't create enough...

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[nerdanel_the_wise]

She picks up Kelly, stroking her fuzzy head.

"You have given many reasons to many people," she begins. "From fear to Lee to that you think yourself inept. I think it would do you good to know why you chose you path and be firm with that reasoning. Maybe once you are certain why you have done as you have, you can find peace with it." Nerdanel tilts her head. "If you miss his presence so much, why don't you tell him that?" She remembers her nights when she had needed someone and had missed her husband. "But it grows late, ionen, and I fear there are no answers to offer you since I know neither you mind nor his, and I don't want to make things worse. I just think you are both being stubborn and foolish. It is like cutting off one's nose to spite their face."

[gorlim.livejournal.com]

"Because what good would it do either of us to sit around in awkward silences or stammered apologies or forced happiness? I don't know. I don't know what to do."

He sighs and walks to her.

"I'll go, Nana, and leave you to your drawing. I don't want to trouble you with this." He takes his daughter and kisses her head. "I wish I could fix it and make it go away and be able to LIVE, but I can't. I just can't. It's not that easy. It took me this long to make Andres go away. I gave away his key today, and let that be that. I don't know what to do with Namo, and I don't know what to do with MYSELF and my pathetic bloody shattering at the drop of a hat."

[nerdanel_the_wise]

She looks up at him solemnly.

"Maybe... you will need to give him up as you did Andres?"

[gorlim.livejournal.com]

"That took me half a year, Nana," he says quietly. "And I don't have to look at him every day. This is worse than Andres. I gave Namo so much of myself. Andres was.... a brief mistake."

[nerdanel_the_wise]

She shakes her head.

"You gave him so very much of you. He gave you so very much of himself. And yet, the two of you can barely speak to each other without one of you breaking down into tears, accusations or bitterness?"

Nerdanel gives up trying to understand.

"I am here, love, if you ever need just a lap to cry in. Always open arms, dearest."

[gorlim.livejournal.com]

Gorlim smiles at her.

"Thanks, Nana. I know you are." He kisses her cheek. "Kelly will need feeding soon. I should go."

[nerdanel_the_wise]

She nods, her fingers lingering on his cheek.

"Melin chen, ionen," she says before he goes, wishing -- not for the first time -- she had the power to heal her sons' broken hearts.

[gorlim.livejournal.com]

He smiles at her, brief and fleeting, and turns to take his daughter back to his room.